Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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