those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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