My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
