he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
