my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
