found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
