We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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