Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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