He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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