There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your penis caused this!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
