I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
