I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
