I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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