dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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