New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
