Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I believe in your delicious
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
