I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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