So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
