Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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