my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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