I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
