I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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