I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
