Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
