I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
