Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
