her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
