it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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