i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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