Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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