dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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