What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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