If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
