Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
