there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
