you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
