hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
