she was so not down for the gang bang
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
