he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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