You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I love you. Go after that dick
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