Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
