I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
