i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
