Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
