you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
