I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
