His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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