Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
