i think my tv is drunk
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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