My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
