Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
